Optimism vs Utter Despair

I am forever teetering on a thin line between optimism and utter despair. It is extremely exhausting to keep my balance between the two. My biggest culprit is my lack of patience. I have forever been inpatient, but inpatiency, when applied to natural healing, is a huge morale killer. I get so anxious to have this all be over with. I want it so bad my whole body aches for it, literally! On the one hand I tell myself to hold in there, that it took years of abuse to get to this state and it won't fix itself in a month. On the otherhand, I tell myself this is total bullshit and I have paid my dues for this damn thing! In my weak moments my mind drifts towards the 'quick fix', but when I look at it logically, it really isn't the quick fix. If I were to have surgery I would still have to recover for about 6 months and even then I may never recover. Do I not owe it to my body to allow it time to heal itself? I know the answer already. It is just this damn inpatience! Perhaps this is just another life lesson that this cyst has provided me with. I love the lessons as they are noticeably making me a stronger person, but I sure wish there was an easier way to learn them.